To Ascend: A Certain Changing Christmas
by Loopsey
Summary: Kamijou feels that Christmas is a dangerous time of the year, but Laura Stuart seeks to change that! Warning: OOC, possible spoilers for future of TA


Pre-Snippet Notes: Ahh, it's me. Just doing a bit of something for the holidays.

Kamijou-san is often misfortunate, but I'm not letting that happen on the holidays. So with this last-minute written thing, let's all have a good Christmas.

Right, this takes place a bit later in To Ascend (along with possibly a few new characters), so if you don't want spoilers, then get outta here!

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Laura Stuart currently had a certain conundrum involving a certain misfortunate boy on her mind.

'_What can I do to make his holiday better?_' The blonde woman frowned as she agonized over the issue. It had been a scant few months since she had met Kamijou, but she felt that she had to do something in gratitude for his repeated assistance in the matters of the Magic Side.

It had all started a few days ago as she remembered a conversation she'd had with the spiky-haired boy himself over the phone.

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"_Christmas? Nah, I don't have any plans. I'm sending out some presents, but that's it for me._" The response made the woman (who had called for _no particular reason whatsoever_) confused.

"Don't you have any family that you're going to celebrate it with?" Laura insisted uncharacteristically, sensing an odd amount of nonchalance in regards to the time of jolliness and cheer from the teenager.

"_My bad luck gets worse around the holidays. I don't want that for my parents._"

"Certainly it can't be _that_ bad." The blonde woman reasoned.

"_Yes, it can. One time, Tsuchimikado had a Christmas tree delivered to my apartment._"

"That doesn't sound that bad."

"_You didn't let me finish. It got set on fire and took my apartment with it._"

"…What about the other apartments?"

"_Completely unscathed. My property was the only thing that got destroyed by the fire. That Christmas, I was just walking around the city without a home to come back to._"

That comment stabbed a blade of sympathy into Laura's often-uncaring heart. "S-Surely, you must've had a better time the next year…"

"_No I didn't. The next year, I got separated from my parents when we went hiking in the Himalayas._"

"That must've been…cold." The woman had little experience with trying to comfort another human being, but she tried to muster up the best she could.

"_Hah, no. My body's too strong to feel cold. Anyway, I found my way across a shitload of yetis._"

"Abominable snowmen?!" The creature had a disproportionate amount of strength from the number of myths surrounding it. Even a Saint would struggle to fight against the monster in its natural environment.

"_Yup. I turned them into fur coats. My parents are still enjoying them._"

"…"

"_I'm not telling you this to get some pity points. No, my point is to warn you: Christmas is dangerous! The winter holidays are a dangerous time of the year!_"

"…Is there anything else?" Laura was dreading whatever type of horrifying holiday-time story would come next.

"_Nope. Bye._"

His cheerful farewell completely contradicted the grim advice he'd given about the holidays. Laura tried to wipe the tears off her face, not having noticed their existence until they ran down her face. "N-Nobody should have to think Christmas is dangerous!

"Kamijou Touma! This year, you will have a good Christmas!"

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"But what can I do to make his holidays better?! I have no idea what to do!" Laura clutched her head as she ran around her personal quarters, having abandoned all pretenses of a calm exterior.

"Think, Laura, think! Wait!" The calculating woman narrowed her eyes as she felt the beginnings of an idea forming. "Don't I have those copies of that Santa outfit…"

Quickly moving over to the unopened package of costumes that she'd so graciously received from a certain double-spy, she quickly cut the concealing duct tape and opened the cardboard flaps. "This is…! Of _course_, Tsuchimikado would send something like this!"

Laura blushed deeply as she lifted up a piece of cloth that could barely be called a skirt. It was Christmas-themed, being red fabric with white fur lining. "This is just a mini-skirt! B-But...Kamijou certainly might find this fortunate…

"Hmm, there is more than just this." The blonde woman peered back into the box to see more of the provocative clothing lying there in the box. "I could also get some of the Necessarius girls into this."

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"Absolutely not!" Kanzaki Kaori refused with all her might, crossing her arms in the air. Her face was tinted a deep shade of red as she glared the erotic dress that Laura was holding up. "I won't wear it! Never!"

"But you didn't even hear me out!" The blonde Archbishop pouted as she waved the holiday outfit in the air for the other female members of Necessarius to see.

"I don't need to! I don't _want_ to! And I'm sure that _they_ don't want to, either!" The Saint heatedly gestured to the other residents.

"Sh-Shameless!" Agnese Sanctis trembled as she could barely even point to the dress, despite her own nun habit having roughly the same length as the dress. "Y-You expect us to wear that!?"

"A-Agreed! What kind of Archbishop are you if you're advocating for us to wear that?!" Sister Lucia covered her hands over herself in case Laura might try some type of magic that would force the attire onto their bodies.

"You say that even though some of the girls in this dorm have bodies that can fit well in those types of clothes. Your breasts would fit it perfectly. I'm a bit jealous…" One of the more petite residents, Angelene, commented as she lamented her own lack of growth.

"S-Sister Angelene! Those types of thoughts could make you fall out of God's favor!"

"Oh, I'm sure that it wouldn't be a sin to wear something like that." Orsola Aquinas giggled as she contemplated using that dress on a certain spiky-haired boy.

'_...!_'Itsuwa was silent as her thoughts were heading in the same direction as Orsola's. Her face was steadily getting more and more red as the thoughts of doing _things_ with Kamijou became more and more erotic.

"Where did she even get that type of thing in the first place…?" Sherry Cromwell presented a logical question with a raised eyebrow, having just finished her latest piece of clay art. "You don't just get that type of Santa dress with a mini-skirt unless it was a custom…"

"None of you are even listening to me! This is because of Kamijou!" Laura smirked internally, knowing that the use of _that_ name would sway them to her cause. "I want to restore his faith in Christmas!"

That statement got the undivided attention and curiosity of the other girls. "Restore his faith?" They all chorused in confusion.

'_Got 'em!_' Laura celebrated in her thoughts as she began to solemnly repeat Kamijou's accounts of his earlier mishaps during his past holidays.

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"How are we even supposed to find him anyway? He might be shopping for presents." Sherry mentioned as she walked aside the others in Academy City. They hadn't gotten dressed up in the provocative Santa outfits (not yet, anyway) and it was being saved for a special occasion.

That is to say, for a certain overpowered boy.

The city was a sight to behold during the winter. Every surface was blanketed in the benevolent white snow, ready to be used to make a snowman or snowball. There were also the flashing red, white and green Christmas lights flashing everywhere. It seemed that even Academy City liked to get into the holiday spirit.

"Oh, we'll find him. I have his address right here!" Laura grinned as she held up her phone, which contained both the boy's cell-phone number and his home address. Her wide smile soon disappeared as she and the others heard some crackling and booming sounds.

"What's going on?" Kanzaki frowned as she kept a tight grip on Schichiten Schichitou. She nodded over to Itsuwa, who was also unfolding her spear.

As all of them got closer to the intersection of what was actually the most popular shopping center in the city (not that they knew it), the sounds were turning louder and including rumbling as well. The Saint could see, illogically enough, several charred and damaged electronics flying through the air. She had to use her wires every now and then to ensure that they wouldn't cause any injuries.

Agnese could see people running away screaming. "Why are they running?"

"We're about to find out…" Lucia said as they began to feel the temperature become colder.

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"How the hell did an ice monster find its way into this city without getting shot down?!" Kamijou Touma said as he dodged the giant icicles of said monster.

The creature itself was predictably made of ice. It was ever-shifting, not taking a completely concrete shape. One moment it was a cube, then a spiraling helix, and a pulsating sphere.

Touma did not give a flying _fuck_ about whatever geometric shape it took. But the damn thing was taking time away from his gift shopping!

"Will you just die already?!" He roared, materializing and flinging a clump of blue fire at it. His normal attire had taken a slight alteration with his regular black coat gaining a fur lining and his pants' material becoming thicker.

The condensed heat impacted with the ice monster and exploded. The fire consumed the beast in a flash, its 'skin' sizzling as it was quickly melting. Eventually, the only thing left of the ice monster was a shrinking puddle of water.

"Finally…" Touma sighed as he looked over the collateral with a regretful eye. He glanced over and felt relief as he saw that his bags of recently bought presents were unscathed by the damage. "That's one good thing today…"

"Ah, Kamijou Touma! What a coincidence that we find you here!"

The spiky-haired boy turned and saw a large grouping of female magicians. Heading them was the smiling Laura Stuart, who was discretely wishing that they had dressed up as planned.

"Uh, hey, could you not tell anybody that I was here? I just got my shopping done…" Kamijou requested sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head, gesturing to the general mess in the shopping intersection around him.

"Not a problem!" Laura agreed, the others nodding behind her. "So, how are these holidays going for you this year?"

"About as well as I expected. Chaos at every corner." Touma shrugged helplessly. "If it's not crazy last-minute shoppers, it's a big damn ice monster attacking the shopping district!"

'_So it was an ice monster…_' The magicians thought in realization, knowing the cause of all the destruction.

"But where is it now?" Itsuwa asked with concern, scanning the surroundings for any hidden creatures with ill intentions. The spiky-haired boy wordlessly pointed to a spot near them. All of the magicians turned their gaze to the smoking puddle and worked out what happened.

"…That's all that was left?" Laura asked reluctantly, to which Kamijou silently nodded.

"If that's all, then I've got some mailing to do. See ya!" The spiky-haired boy blurred away along with his bags.

"Didn't we just lose our chance to convince him?" Sherry frowned, making the other girls give a questioning gaze to the Archbishop.

"Not exactly." Laura smirked deviously as she knew what she and the others were going to do.

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"Mmmm…" Kamijou sighed as he woke up, keeping his eyes shut. His eyebrows rose as he felt an unknown weight on top of him. "I swear to god if Tsuchimikado put another baby polar bear…" He opened his eyes and found something that he could deem 'amazing'.

It was Laura Stuart in a _provocative Santa outfit_?!

Kamijou looked down and would've given a spit-take if he was drinking something. The Archbishop's top was low-cut, revealing a dangerous amount of cleavage. Her mini-skirt only went down to barely her mid-thighs, showing the bountiful, white legs below.

'_Damn, isn't that cold?_' Touma's logical side showed concern, but his teenage-boy-side didn't care _at all_. Secretly, he was hopping and hollering like a loon in his mind. Eventually, his inner-pervert won out. '_Who cares?! She's hot!_'

"Good morning~." Laura grinned widely, knowing where his eyes were looking towards. And it was exactly where she wanted them. "How are you doing?~"

"I'm kind of wondering how you broke in. Truthfully? I don't really care." He confessed with a straight face, staring at the Archbishop's cleavage with a slight blush.

"That's good! Girls, come in!" She called out, making Touma blink as he remembered that there had been more magicians in the city. His jaw steadily dropped lower as his apartment was steadily filled with more female magicians dressed in the same erotic outfit as Laura.

"D-Don't be mistaken! This is to pay back for all the favors I owe!" Kanzaki blushed as she tried to extend the length of the mini-skirt by tugging on it. The other arm tried to cover her bust, but only made it appear even bigger.

"M-Merry Christmas, Touma." Itsuwa said quietly, fiddling with her fingers.

"Y-You'd better appreciate this!" Agnese pointed at him while blushing.

"We're going to fall from grace for this, I just know it!" Lucia lamented to herself, wondering why she'd gone along with the idea.

"I don't know what you're complaining about. Your breasts look quite snug in that." Angelene pointed out with a pout.

"Angelene!"

"I think this looks a bit good on me, actually…" Sherry admitted as she looked herself over.

"See? You can't call Christmas dangerous, now, can you?" Laura smiled triumphantly as she crossed her arms, subconsciously elevating her breasts. She looked upward and that smile turned to a devious smirk.

The blonde woman reached up and grabbed the object that gave her a _nice_ idea. Bringing it down for Touma to witness, he whistled as he got the same idea.

"When did you hang the mistletoe? I'm pretty sure that I didn't have that before."

"Do you really care?"

"Nope." Touma said as he took the initiative. He leaned up until he was chest-to-chest with her, a wolfish grin on his face. "Pucker up."

"W-Wait, I'm not read-Mmph! Mmmm…"

"Hey, what about us?!" Kanzaki yelled indignantly, shocking the others.

"Oh, I'm sure we'll all have our turn eventually." Sherry chuckled, pulling out a camera to record the kiss for future 'research'.

"Are they using tongue?" Orsola blushed as she looked closer.

"I think so…" Lucia agreed, feeling steam expel from her ears.

Sherry had been right. They'd all gotten a turn (tongue optional, but they all took the chance) and it had been _satisfying_.

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There was only a dark void. Suddenly, a spiky-haired boy with red kiss marks on his face appeared.

"Hey, there, you pervs." He said, speaking to seemingly nobody.

"I guess you enjoy this little snippet of chaos from that writer nut. I sure as hell did." Kamijou chuckled as he recalled the pleasant memories. "Christmas isn't so dangerous after all…"

Improbably enough, another person appeared in the dark void. The first thing that Touma noticed is that it was an unfamiliar blonde girl with the same Santa outfit that he now developed a fondness for. The only difference was that she also had the floppy cap to go along with the red and white outfit.

"I finally get a chance for this." Othinus said under her breath as she approached the surprised boy.

"I thought I was the only human who could even get here." Touma murmured with intrigue.

"Well, this makes two. And we're the only two here." The girl came closer until they were only centimeters apart. Othinus licked her lips sensually, making Kamijou raise an eyebrow as he added another to the tally.

"Let's get that mess off first." The Magic God whispered as she made the lipstick marks disappear entirely.

"Interesting trick you've got there." Touma said with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm sure we can trade a few." Othinus said as she slipped her hand through the boy's spiky hair and brought his lips to hers.

'_Best. Christmas. Ever._' The two godlike humans thought absolutely, enjoying the kiss (especially when it started including tongue).

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Post-Snippet Notes: Well, did you enjoy the brief snip that I made? I sure did. Once again, this takes place in To Ascend.

This idea spawned as I remember some passages from the LN about Kanzaki and Laura arguing about Santa outfits and mini-skirts.

Merry Christmas, everybody!

Signing out-Loopsey


End file.
